Reluctant to hear the word , try .

long day :/ super pissed off by homeworks , i dont know whys . having super bad headache & i've been taking pain killer like it's candy ._. baby help-ed me buy a new packet just now as i was dying in class .

somethings really wrong with me . it's not i dont want to study , it's not i dont want to pay attention . it's not i hate the teachers or what {only one} it's just there's something very important that is missing that makes me so moody & i just dont have the heart to memorise or give a damn about my studies . im not lazy . because if i was , i would have just pon-ed school like insane & wouldnt have changed in the first place . so what's that god damn thing im missing ? arghs , i just seriously need that motivation because i have no bloody motivation , & sometimes it isnt i dont want to do homework , i just cant bloody that amount of homework in one go , i'll lose the will & i seriously have no god damn motivation . fuck it .

arghs , so after chemistry cabbed to find baby . & yeahs , we were playing like a bunch of baboon . baby & i hadnt laugh so hard ever since , forever ? hahas ! but it's great that everything is falling into place la {: im just hoping for time to pass fast . i just want to do well . get into the god damn course i chosen & done .

bus-ed home with a very bad mood hoping someone would cheer me up but i hardly talk to anyone now -.- only baby , bonnie & joy . ACTUALLY that's everyone i talk to ._. because im under the no boys policy {: & i hope baby is following his no girls policy too {which i doubt he will} whatever :/

so here's my post for the day , ending with a super bad & horrible mood . sorry eh , but anyways lets just end today like that . bye .

yes , im upset .
whys is it only a try ?
it wasnt a try before .
it was a "i'll do anything for you"
it's no longer that .
so why am i still doing anything for yous ?
im sorry for being unfair to yous in the past .
but must it affect our future .
i dont know ,
would yous tell me please ?
sorry i wanted yous to pick yourself up fast .
but you're not the only one that needs me ,
because i need yous even more badly .
do yous know ?
honestly , no .
but i just love yous so damn much .